50 pounds of ridiculousness....

so there's nothing like finding out a week before you move out of the country that instead of being allowed to bring 2 bags weighing 50 pounds each, you can only bring 2 bags weighing 50 pounds total! well, at least i haven't started packing for the trip yet..... but you know, i think it's one of the greatest developments so far. you wouldn't believe all the crap i've bought so far to take with me. foo foo shampoo, extra food, 3 jackets i don't need..... then there's all the stuff that i've had forever and haven't ever used and for some reason it made sense to carry halfway across the world with me! i think one of the ways i've been dealing with leaving a ridiculously familiar place and moving to a place where nothing is going to make sense (at first anyway) was to surround myself with everything that i could possibly need to be comfortable, just in case i can't find it in chile. but where is the sense in that??

if i bring all of this crap i've been carrying around with me to a country where people are living just fine with what they have (which is a fraction of what i was planning on bringing), then what's the point in going? haven't i learned anything from living in a country where the average citizen spends a bunch of cash they don't have on a bunch of stuff they don't need only to find that their lives are empty in spite of it all?? how on earth does having useless material possessions bring a sense of comfort to my life?? it's never really made sense to me, and yet here i find myself right in the midst of it all. and even worse, i've been planning on taking that useless mentality to south america with me. heading south is my opportunity to abandon any connection between physical possessions and positive emotions. i'm hoping to appreciate how people get by with only what they need and find joy in their lives because they understand what is truly important, and what doesn't really matter. i'm hoping to learn to find joy in connections with the people around me and comfort in opening myself up to new experiences. i'm hoping to restart my life again in a style more befitting to my nature, and more beneficial to the world around me.

so hooray for the 50-pounds-total rule! hooray for going through the piles of stuff in my room and figuring out what i really can't live without for the next several months/years/decades! hooray for leaving behind the shackles of a broken mentality and looking forward to new beginnings without 100 pounds of extra baggage dragging me down. hooray for the start of a new awareness of importance, relevance, and joy. hooray to a life that rises above physical possessions and revolves around friendship, culture, and community. hooray for it all, hooray for it all!!

one week and counting....